Enter the Squared Circle, Son!

Wells Industries lastest, final, mistake.

Tex Talks Battletech: The Charger

EPISODE SYNOPSIS

“The definition of a truly bad ‘Mech, as we commonly accept it today, is the character of being the Charger, or something very much like it, and I for one believe that that assessment is inaccurate for a number of reasons.  The charger has been called the grand incarnation of Abigor or Elegos in the history of the military-industrial complex.  By its pilots however, it has been called the walking target, the most cursed machine, the embarrassment made manifest, the mech that graft built, and most amusingly, the second most disappointing thing on two legs.

I think these characterizations, as applied to the Charger and without context, are not entirely fair.  As I firmly believe the charger is frequently misunderstood and often miscast with minimal supporting context as a machine that has accidentally stumbled into, and somehow survived four succession wars, and virtually everything else since as some sort of bizarre military industrial cryptid.  Accordingly, I feel a more thorough examination, a much broader context, and some actual evidence will help us refute much of the mythos surrounding this machine, and thus help us establish its actual place in history. And the real history of the Charger, or in a fashion, a much truer history, is indeed a strange tale.”

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

The Charger is a BattleMech with two faces: the canonical lore and the adaptive use found by players on the tabletop.  The first is a story of corporate and state excess that resulted in an 80-ton war machine that, on paper, excels in the niche of recon and nothing else without significant modifications that, ironically, precludes it from the recon operations.  The second face is the story of a fast-moving, heavily armored king of the brawl who will charge down your throat and throw fists like the third monkey on Noah’s ramp.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

The original design of the Charger sported a Ling-Temco-Vought 400-rated fusion engine; this massive power source pushed the assault ‘Mech frame up to a respectable 86 km/h.  With ten tons of armor, the machine is less well protected than other ‘Mechs within its weight class, though durable enough to fulfill the intended recon mission profile.  The weapons array is considered lackluster in both damage and range: five Magna Mark I Light Lasers, in other words, five small lasers.

Intelligent pilots do not lament the lack of armor or weapons; they understand that the machine is a weapon.  When executing maneuvers that embody the ‘Mechs namesake, a simple charging attack or a straightforward kick, with all five small lasers hitting their mark, the Charger deals damage in excess of two Gauss Rifle slugs.  With a skilled pilot, the Charger’s speed and agility come to life, becoming a living manifestation of the BattleMech fisticuff spirit.

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND

Developed, produced, deployed, and canceled at the zenith of the Star League era, The Charger is a machine made to fulfill a very niche role.  By 2665, the wonders of science had made grand strides in helping the human condition, and with peace came various brain trusts to solve the problems of future wars.

 

The Charger, produced by Wells Technologies, was a proposed solution to a notional and recurring problem.  The desire was for an assault class mechanized unit, appropriately armored and with enough speed to survive initial contact with an enemy, retreat, and report back.  Straight forward reconnaissance in force.  However, when removed from its element, the Charger is woefully equipped to handle tasks outside anything other than anti-infantry operations and the sedate life of cushy garrison duty.  In these roles, the Charger’s speed, agility, and small laser array make it a formidable opponent against infantry and conventional combat vehicles.

 

In the darkest era of the succession wars, making do with what you have was the standard of life in all corners of the galaxy.  Thus, the Charger was parted out and reconfigured in multiple ways, showcasing adaptability and versatility not envisioned by the original developers; end users of the platform altered it from the initial concept of a reconnaissance platform to a more traditional assault ‘Mech.  Thus, it became the Charger by name only.  Though it has been considered a “failure,” the BattleMech had a limited production run of approximately one thousand units, half of which are still in service four centuries after its initial development and cancellation.

TIMELINE OF VARIANTS

2665

CGR-1A1

The original Wells Technologies recon platform.

3022

CGR-1L

A model that is actually the bad mech people think the charger is.  Same speed, half the armor of the original, one large laser, twin medium lasers.

 

3023

CGR-1A5

Unhappy with the 1Ls they received, the Capellans modified the Charger into a traditional assault ‘Mech.  Downgraded engine (64 km/h), 50% more armor, three additional heat sinks, an Autocannon/20, a brace of two SRM-6 launchers, and a medium laser.

3025

CGR-SB “Challenger”

A general low tech refit.  Downgraded engine (54 km/h), 28 heat sinks, 55% more armor, quad large lasers, and a single medium laser.

 

3034

CGR-1A9

A Kuritian led effort to “fix” the Charger’s lack of long range capability.  Downgraded engine (64 km/h), jump jets, twenty-two heat sinks, a LRM-20 missile system, a quartet of medium lasers, and a single small laser.

3049

CGR-3K

A helm refit of the Kuritian 1A9, sometimes confused with the Hatamoto-Chi.  Extra light LTV 400 engine maintains the original’s speed, more jump jets than the 1A9, Ferro-Fibrous armor, twelve double heatsinks, a LRM-20 missile system with Artemis IV FCS, CASE ammo protection, and a quartet of medium pulse lasers.

3052

CGR-C

Not a clan refit, a lateral “upgrade” of the 3K.  Replaces one of the medium lasers for a C3 slave node and more ammunition for the LRM-20 missile launcher.

 

3063

CGR-SA5

A Kuritian close quarters variant. A Light 320 rated engine paired with MASC provides a burst speed equivalent to the original, Endo Steel, twelve double heat sinks, 15.5 tons of standard armor, a LB 20-X autocannon, twin Streak SRM-6 launchers, CASE ammo protection, and a trio of ER medium lasers.

3064

CGR-2A2

Outworlds Alliance made variant, embraces original recon role.  Ferro-Fibrous armor, five Rocket Launcher 10 systems, and a single medium laser. 

3071

CGR-KMZ

“Kamikaze” variant.  Weebs gonna weeb.  A smaller extra light powerplant (64 km/h), improved jump jet system providing 180 meter leap, 12 double heatsinks, light Ferro-Fibrous armor, twin Light PPCs, a single Heavy PPC, a Multi-Missile Launcher 9 system, and a goddamned Katana.

3076

CGR-1X1

StarCorps experimental unit, no expense spared.  Extra light LTV 400 engine paired with both a supercharger and MASC for a top speed of 140 km/h!  Ten double heat sinks, twelve and a half tons of Heavy Ferro-Fibrous, an ER large laser, a medium X-Pulse laser, and a host of countermeasure and detection systems including: Angel ECM suite, Bloodhound Active Probe, TAG, Chaff, and laser AMS.  34 million C-bills…

3078

CGR-3Kr

A late Jihad era field refit of the 3K.  Twelve and a half tons of Light Ferro-Fibrous, ten double heat sinks, triple strength myomer, one snub-nosed and one light PPC, twin ER medium lasers, one medium laser, one ER small laser, one small laser, and… a sword.

NOTABLE PILOTS

Terry Ford

Lucky till he wasn’t.  Survived all kinds of madness only to die, face first in the dirt, after a failed death from above maneuver off an embankment.

 

Jeremiah Rose

Founder of the Black Thorns, former ComGuard, former Highlander.  Traded an SLDF cooling suit and a few million C-bills for a Charger on Solaris.

Ty Wu Non

A Capellan warrior house member.  Honorable, loyal, fair, abhors brutality for the sake of brutality.  Pilots a CGR-3K.

William Liao

A curmudgeon who’s criticism of Romano Liao earned him a seat in the absolutely terrible CGR-1L.

There are many words for the Charger. Weird. Fast. Assault ‘mech. Small lasers. Military industrial complex. Graft. On paper, the machine is one of Battletech’s great jokes. But the Charger has been around for every Succession War, seen use by myriad different pilots, and even forged occasional legends on the battlefield. So join us friends, as we change perspective a bit for this bizarre, maligned ‘mech. Let’s take a look at it, not from the pilot’s seat, but from a history book. A heavy cavalry Battlemech, designed in an era almost completely alien to what would follow, yet somehow it has hung with titans throughout four Succession Wars. What kind of machine can not only do that, but do that while being mocked and misunderstood for the entire span of time? Take your seats, and let’s find out.

DISCLAIMER:

TEX TALKS BATTLETECH is a fan-based parody/attempt at education for a setting that deserves much love. Battletech, Mechwarrior, and all other material are owned by CGL, Topps, Tornante, PGI, their various subsidiaries, and a million shareholders (though not harmony gold, fuck those guys). No challenge to their ownership status is being made or intended by the creation of this work. Battletech is owned by the company, but the fanbase is what keeps it alive. Let us hope they forgive us for what fun we have. Tex Talks Battletech is a semi-serious take on Battletech, its setting, lore, and history in an attempt to bring people into one of the greatest franchises ever envisioned and should not in any way represent the official stance of any corporation, conglomerate, megacorp, holding company, or cartel which currently owns the franchise. 

TL;DR: this is the opinion of one guy who loves a setting, and is dead-set on bringing it to everyone who cares to hear about it. That’s why each and every one of these is tied to a charity. We want to associate Battletech, now and forever, with a spirit of giving, kindness, and good in an otherwise dreary world.

If you’re looking to buy Battletech game supplies or just general merch, Catalyst Game Labs are company to see. They have a Battletech section on their site for everything from plushies to counter tokens.

Another great resource for actually playing tabletop Battletech is Iron Wind Metals, who make great classic metal miniatures. Give them a look!

Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, Allowance is made for “Fair Use” for the purposes of Criticism, Comment, News Reporting, Teaching, Scholarship, and Research. Fair use is therefore Permitted by Copyright Statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-Profit, Educational, or Personal use tips the balance in favor of “Fair Use.”

BPL PATREON (Support us making this stuff) – https://www.patreon.com/BPLTEX

The Editor’s Own Excellent Channel of Excellence –    / @thecourtesyflush  

HUTZ FANDANGO! –    / @hutzfandango9613  

WBPL-76 –  https://www.twitch.tv/wbpl76 (For the community by the community. Not a pet project and not my wallet. Its my people doing what they do best, shitposting with love)

SPACER’S COOL BATTLETECH COMIC – http://www.star-raiders.com/index.php

WE NEED MORE FAN COMICS OUT THERE. 

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MECH ARTIST!

ART AND VOICE CREDITS ARE IN THE VIDEO, and FEATURED FULL SCREEN

WANT TO BUY ELDONIOUS’S SWEET ASS PRINTS AS SEEN IN THIS MOVIE?

https://astray3.bigcartel.com/

Seriously Check out HIRED STEEL, I CANNOT THANK THEM ENOUGH!

HIRED STEEL –    • Hired Steel: A Me…   

PLEASE SUPPORT THE HELL OUT OF THESE GUYS. DO NOT LET THEM GO UNLOVED!

MUSICIANS: Note – if you guys repost their music, ask them first. Don’t be dicks. People put a lot of heart into this stuff. 

GOAT MUSIC –    / @goatburger7992  

KUMAKIN MUSIC – https://soundcloud.com/user-738052488

Everything else is from EPIDEMIC SOUND at https://www.epidemicsound.com/

OR

Storyblocks at www.storyblocks.com

In order of appearance:

  1. Segersta – Spring Gang
  2. Gaining Season – Lupus Nocte
  3. Tex Talks Battletech Theme – Kumakin
  4. Where’s My Umbrella – Franz Gordon
  5. Happy Minor Watlz – Franz Gordon
  6. Une Histoire D’Armour – Franz Gordon
  7. Old Vienna – Leimoti
  8. The Road Less Travelled – Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen
  9. Interlude No 1 – Peter Sandburg
  10. Drawn to You – Vincent Vega
  11. Komm, Süßer Tod – Kumakin
  12. Enemy Territory – Dream Cave
  13. Covert Affairs – Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen
  14. Behind Bars – Wendel Scherer
  15. Dark Outside – Farrell Wooten
  16. Stellar Minds – DEX 1200
  17. Pomp and Circumstance at Home – Crowind
  18. Azimuth – Kumakin
  19. P I N K  B I K I N I – Kumakin
  20. Tex Talks Battletech – Kumakin
  21. I think I was There – Emil Axelsson
  22. Mister Magical – Spring Gang
  23. Yanayi – DEX 1200
  24. Floating in Space – Etienne Roussel
  25. Sarabande – George Frideric Handel
  26. Stratosphere Voyage – Spirits of Our Dreams
  27. What Now – Golden Age Radio

OUTRO CREDITS:

  1. Segersta – Spring Gang
  2. Gaining Season – Lupus Nocte

THE BPL PODCAST CAN BE FOUND HERE: On Anchor FM – https://anchor.fm/blackpantslegion

OR just Google Black Pants Legion Podcast.