Early Spring Year 116
It has fallen upon me to bring CULTURE to these quant provincials and I have finally arrived to achieve this goal.
By Amok! What a mess! Half-finished death traps! Boney lawn ornaments! What rubbish! The walls aren’t even SMOOTHED! So they’re both LAZY and UNCULTURED. I’m going to be sick. Let us hope their stocks are up to snuff…
Food: By Amok! They’re so FAT! It sickens me. They seem to have an abundance of food and drink. Good…good…
Metal: Plenty of steel and armaments. At least they’re good for something…
Crafts: They make their crafts out of…bone. How unusual. No precious metals it seems. Upsetting…
Livestock: EXCESSIVE. Too many steer. Make some steak!
This is sufficient for now.
Let us see the library…
PATHETIC
NO BOOKS? THEY’RE SCATTERED ABOUT! THESE SAVAGE! There’s not even a single scholar!
I have taken it upon myself to appoint local Counting Man Ingish Akrulrithar. He shall teach the little-folk how to count past 20. Outstanding
The Great Scholar
Next I will commission some ART! Murals, carvings and more! Our legacy will be secure!
My first order of business! Update the death records! We have a considerable Ghost problem, no doubt from a lack of bookkeeping. I shall get all the dead Dwarves cataloged so their ghosts will settle down.
Mid-Spring
Work on the main wing of the Learnatorium (a brilliant name I came up with), goes well. I shall build a zoo to show off the last Elf after we eliminate them.
BUILDING CAN WAIT! A FORGOTTEN BEAST RULUSH AVVZZOKUN HAS COME! A great skinless warthog! We’re eating pork tonight!
FUCK a second Forgotton Beast and this one breaths fire! Many will die but that is a sacrifice I’m willing to take in construction of the Learnatorium.
Okay! The first forgotten beast crawled into a vent and has never been seen since. Crisis averted!
The second fire one just jumped in the water. Let us pray it drowns.
Vucar Oltarsebir has created Stettadkodor Edtul Tath, a willow ring. It is decorated with cow bone and encircled with bands of round almandine cabochons and round chert cabochons. This object menaces with spikes of willow, pear wood, diorite and sandstone. On the item is an image of rambutan trees in kaolinite
Late Spring
A distinguished guest has paid a visit! The legendary Commander Timta Astopib! This Dwarf-Friend looks upon the corpses of Elves and feels no pity. Hopefully he’ll ask to stay.
Good news! Our zoo has its first guest! The last of the Bat Men! What a feisty little fellow
The Learnatorium is nearing completion! The Museum Wing is coming along nicely
It is Early Summer. The Learnatorium is nearly complete. Soon these dullards will be educated properly! Our primary issue is that these Dwarven Poindexters lack notebooks! We can’t publish a bestseller without QUIRNS! The horror.
Now that our so-called metropolis has some learned Dwarves, we’ll move onto culture. Look at the rags these Dwarves are wearing! We have a stockpile of precious spidersilk! We need proper attire! Time to get the tailors to work overtime
As for our zoo, the scouts have discovered a rare and mysterious creature! The Flesh Ball! I have redirected efforts to capture this elusive creature. Soon our zoo will expand!
Upon further inspection, it has come to my attention that there is a moat with NO WATER OR LAVA. A Dwarf’s Works is never done.
UPDATE! We’ve captured a Flesh Ball! We shall put one on display and see about training the rest.
Good news! The Library is now open! BEHOLD!
The Museum!
The Zoo!
Early Fall
The honor of opening the floodgate shall be mine! BEHOLD!
So it would seem two problems have solved each other. The Giant fire-breathing pig monster has reappeared as did the Bat Men. The good news is that this forgotten beast thrives on a diet of Bat Men! Isn’t nature wonderful? Another problem solved by our new Learnatorium!
Would you believe it? Another Artifact! It’s…a stick made from coal…
An ambush! The Bat Men are back with greater number! We must FIGHT!
The Bat Men have been driving back. Our casualties are two peasants, an Elf and a poet…so nothing of value lost.
Another exotic creature for the zoo has been spotted! A cave ogre!
Grand news! Our fortress grows in prestige! We’ve been made a duchy!
Praise the miners! We’ve extracted some adamantine and precious gems! We’ll get to work extracting the strands!
The Cave Ogres have been captured! Interesting fact! Some dwarves like blind cave ogres for their echoing howls.
Mid-Autumn
I have accomplished all that I set out to do. The fortress is thriving and well on it’s way to be deserving of being a proper Duchy. Huzzah!
So it turns out the fortress is haunted. While dead Dwarves are inevitable, we seemed to have grossly underestimated our corpse storage needs. Perhaps if we build more tombs, the hauntings will stop. I can’t even take a shit without one jumping out and scaring me
Late Autumn
INVASION! The batmen are back! By Amok we will purge these foes!
Due to popular demand, the Library has expanded and now has a reading room to rival the greatest Dwarves Libraries!
Update. Yet another damned Forgotten Beast has appeared.
While the soldiers deal with that menace, the zoo has a new addition! A cave troll!
Another Forgotten Beast Update! The worm appears to love to spit webs. If we are able to capture it, we may have a new source of silk..Nevermind. It’s too dangerous. It took the valiant efforts of The Copper Weaknesses to stop the monster but they lost a few of their men. They will be remembered.
A new Artifact is born! An earring of pure adamantine!
Budo Reveredgarlics has claimed the position of lord of the Droopy Councils! What could this political maneuver mean for the future?
The final winter months drag on as I think back to the year before. We built a library to rival even those of the mountainhome! Dwarves pack themselves in to read such titles as “Journey to Screws” or “Start Your Day with Personal History’ ‘. We have scholars from all over coming to learn from us. We have a zoo of the local fauna such as the Flesh Ball and the Bat Man! Wow! We even solved the recent ghost problems the fortress was having. We also remember the Fallen Dwarves who helped fend off Forgotten Beasts long enough to build the Learnatorium. We also would like to remember the up and coming clothing industry. We have silks and yarns to spare. No longer will we dress in pig tail rags! We dress like THANES!
