1st of Granite.
I, Duchi Featherbeard, arrive to take charge of Threebeard. Morale is high as I spot their fabled pyramid on the horizon. My excitement only builds as I get closer, surely great things will be d-BY ARMOK’S FERROUS PUBES, WHY ARE THERE THIS MANY DEAD DWARVES OUTSIDE?!
3rd of Granite.
Some asshole shows up and asks if he can play music. As this is the first petition I’ve had, I grant him permission.
1st of Slate.
Traitorous Marksdwarfs abound. I have recorded no less than 3 instances of them sneaking around, claiming they will return to lay hands upon Grizzelshrivel, before fleeing the fortress, unable to claim their prize. It’s getting annoying, honestly.
3rd of Slate.
NOW THE TREACHEROUS HUMANS COME LOOKING FOR IT. A curse upon it’s creator.
6th of Slate.
Despite apparently having a TITAN trapped in the basement, additional Dwarves continue to arrive to settle here. Oh well. Though we are short on drink, we welcome these kin with mostly open arms. There is always more work to be done.
7th of Slate.
An altercation takes place in the heart of the fortress over a goose. The goose apparently attacked one Litast Solanzafal. Latest retaliated. This provoked the ire of a nearby child who began striking her furiously. She then proceeded to retaliate against the child which of course drew the attention of the nearby guards. At first one guard attempted to detain Litast, and was very shortly followed by the rest of the squad. During this time, the goose was still sighted gripping Litast’s dress and pulling with a mighty fury. It is at this point that Litast falls over, which then prompts a hammerdwarf to sit over her, and cave her face in with his bare fists.
25th of Slate.
Udil Rimtarning lays claim to a clothier’s workshop, and screams vile obscenities at any who attempt to interrupt him.
1st of Felsite.
I decree that the dormitory level is to be engraved in its entirety, so that our citizens may gaze upon our handiwork as they drift off into sleep, and dream of even greater achievement.
3rd Felsite.
A sandal. A singular sandal. Udil locked himself in the workshop for over a week to make one sandal. ONE. SANDAL. I admit, it is a pretty great sandal, but still.
6th of Felsite.
Zuglar Lorbamostar dies of dehydration, in the middle of a tavern.
11th of Hematite.
Threebeard is visited by the Boats of Forever, a troupe of traveling performers. This would normally not be worthy of note, however, this troupe is composed in its entirety of scantily clad goblins, with legendary engraving skills. I dare not ask where they store their tools.
16th of Hematite.
Do you believe screaming children are annoying? Well then, let me tell you about undead screaming children. You can’t even slap them to get them to stop, your hand just goes straight through!
18th of Hematite.
Oddom Mengrubal is re-elected. Again. Long live the Mayor.
21st of Hematite.
In order to bolster the defenses of our fair city, I drafted several peasants into the military. This new squad shall be named The Gladness of Arches.
3rd of Malachite.
After nearly a month of residing in our tavern, The Boats of Forever have requested permission to reside here permanently. For some reason, many of our citizenry seem enamored of the scantily clad goblins in the group, which is predominantly female. Against my better judgment, I have granted this request. Immediately upon receiving status as a resident, the goblins proceeded to our necropolis, and after briefly browsing the halls of the dead, began opening the coffins and adorning themselves with the clothing they found within. One wonders if their popularity will continue to be this high after less green skin is on display.
(He didn’t have pants on when he went into that crypt.)
5th of Galena.
Ral Gebarfikod begins speaking in tongues, and lays claim to a craftsdwarf’s workshop.
10th of Galena.
After 5 days of ceaseless muttering of Kotvutram, we finally learn what it is. An earring. A single earring, made entirely of bituminous coal. Spirits, what in Armok’s name?
17th of Galena.
Yet another troupe of scantily clad performing goblins, the Lives of Calming arrives at our fortress, entering our tavern to spread mirth, merriment, and in all likelihood at this point, goblin legs. I can’t help but feel I’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake.
17th of Limestone.
BY ARMOK’S BEARD, FINALLY SOMETHING HAPPENS! A caravan arrives today, from Tunomonul. I wonder what fine wares they have for us.
22nd of Limestone.
To our horror, the rest of the members of the Lives of Calming arrive. We discover that it is not a goblin performing troupe, but something far, far worse. A multicultural performance troupe, which includes ELVES.
27th of Limestone.
Commerce with the Mountainhomes has concluded amicably. We have traded gems for steel and other necessary metal bars. A good trade!
23rd of Timber.
After another month without anything worthy of note (I swear upon Armok’s boot I will kill any scribe who asks just how many performance troupes have passed through our tavern this year), Cerol Idamal is taken by a fey mood, and claims a Stoneworker’s Workshop. Please let this be something sensible.
1st of Moonstone.
Winter greets us with a new artifact. Thankfully, it’s something sensible. A scepter most regal, for whatever foppish noble inherits the title to this land eventually, as the Mountainhomes are wont to do. That’s where the good news ends however, as it too is made out of FUCKING COAL.
23rd of Moonstone.
THEFT! LARCENY! GRAND THEFT ARTIFACT! Nefastdur has been stolen from its place at the Crafstdwarf’s Workshop! Really, someone should have stored it somewhere secure, like a vault or something.
28th of Moonstone.
THE THIEF HAS BEEN FOUND! Zolak Azstrozgrad, a goblin maceman who has been residing within our tavern for many moons now. He has been sighted with Nefastdur in his possession. He will die.
1st of Opal.
Though we have been spurned by one of our erstwhile guests, the others have stepped up and cemented the merit of hospitality. Immediately upon revelation that he was indeed a thief, human and batwoman warriors descended upon Zolak, splitting his thieving head in twain. May his name be forever cursed in these halls.
2nd of Opal-31st of Obsidian:
Two blessedly uneventful months. I have lost count of just how many Armok-damned performance troupes have decided to pass through here. I have heard…so many different kinds of obscure music from every corner of this good Earth. Feh. Anyway, we have doubled our alcohol production capacity, as it was previously insufficient. The temple complex has also been expanded.
We can separate the new construction off into sections, or create a singular, truly magnificent place to venerate the gods.
I have also ordered the expansion of our habitation level to include many more domiciles. The work will still be ongoing when my successor takes his place. As I complete my period as overseer of this place, I contemplate on the past year I have spent here. Though my initial optimism was challenged in the first few months, as I look back on what we have accomplished here…I am satisfied. It is good. To you who read this, I wish good fortune, and Armok’s many blessings. Strike the earth!
