So everyone is yelling and being sad and angry and it’s my job to fix it? Okay okay. Everyone into the tavern. Wait, where is the old overseer person? In there? Oh he died? No? What? Walled themselves in?
Should.. we get them back out?
Granite
Okay everyone grab a beer *sips* Rye? Okay I’ll take it. Now what’s wrong? *angry yelling ensues*
Okay okay.. People have grievances.. Bring out the book of grudges, lets sort this out.
Oh my. Lets deal with the easiest ones first:
Etc
Okay.. is everyone happier now?
We just have a few people to interrogate due to lack of witnesses…
Wait a death?
I was sure it was going to be the dude in the pyramid..
Wait.. a child is going around beating up people? Into the book of grudges, then into jail.
Why are there dozens of stray dogs everywhere? Look, package them up for storage, cull the herd.
Finally, people are getting some work done around here:
If only there wasn’t an export ban on these items..
We have a lack of what? Coffins? But our tombs are huge and expansive.. All.. All full? Um.. okay.
Wait, we have a WHAT walled up in our fortress? A TITAN? Is this what we do, just wall things up here?
A Theft? Unid talkroad AKA Unib Masostulon.. They confessed? Okay, convicted, the prison is full? Well I can sort tha.. wait put that hammer do.. *thunk* ..wn. Okay, another casket required.
Another child is throwing a tantrum? Daww. Okay.. wait.. three dead?
WHAT. BOOK OF GRUDGES NOW. CONVICTED. 6 COUNTS OF DISORDERLY CONDUCT RESULTING IN THREE DEATHS.
Get me their sheet…
Most of these people are now dead! Can we evict a child?
Listen here you little shit…. Wait, your parents are who? And you are cousin to half the fort? Umm.. uhh.. Just..
Okay
A map of the caverns.. Thank you. Okay we appear safe, it’s in a well defended section. Just keep an eye on it.
No shit. He walled himself up with no food or water.
Speaking of water. We need a well. Go down to the flooded section and build a well there would you? Thank you:
These Children…
Finally The month is over. Thank Granite and onto Slate
Slate
*Sips Beer* It’s been a long month but I hope things are getting better for everyone.
No? Okay how bout some gold statues. Sound good? Good.
Buzzard? This is what’s stopping you now? Just kill it.
Felsite
Send the next one in. Okay, hi, what is your pr.. Complaints? Uh huh, okay,
You want to make something? Okay go do it. Next
You want to wander? Go Hunt and pick flowers. Next
You want to pray to an esoteric outsider god from beyond the fabric of reality? Go make a temple in a cupboard somewhere. Get out of here. Next
Next
Next
Weapon rack and armor stand for your room? Sure. Next
You keep beating up poets and bards and feel guilty? Umm. Okay. Next
Bodies of dead buzzards everywhere?.. Uh no i know nothing about that.. Next
Hematite
Could someone please stop the children from beating up and killing bards? Please? I know we value martial prowess but these kids are terrors.
One open Disorderly conduct… Interrogate all the children and bards!
*alarms sounds* Ahhh what’s that noise? Traders?
Okay sell everything not nailed down and not booze.
What do you mean they can’t carry any more?
Tell them to come back with more wagons next season!
Okay, send in the next angry person.. They are doing what? Is there a.. is it an illness, should we quarantine?
That’s it. Put all the bards to work. No more dancing and singing and messing about with music!
They can help with the ziggurat.
Wait.. why are they limping and walking so slowly? That one can’t even hold a chisel? Full medical breakdown, stat.
Hnnn… Okay somewhat able to build at least I guess.
The military want to send out some skirmishes? Sure. We are still at war with the elves so put together some raiding parties and raid the long-ears forest retreats.
Okay. Now that the raiders are out, what’s our census?
Malachite
Couldn’t we have sent more unhappy members as fodder? No? Damn. Check envelope marked ‘Operation Noisy Shield’ and prepare for the next steps in our military tactics…
Speaking of bards…
Justice is served.
Oh the surgeon? Um.. ask them why they did it. Wait, they injured three people? Damn. Okay build a new jail cell.
… oh no. Just.. Pave over it. Okay? Quickly!
A theft now too?
Interrogate everyone.
The hole covered up?
good. Put a sign up. I sense we were just in time:
Oh finally? The mandate has ended? THE TRADERS JUST LEFT DAMN YOU.
Okay next Citizen in. What do you want? Clothes? Clothes.
Galena
Mini forge ban is back on? Sigh…
Dealt with by the Bat People.
Annnnd it fell down a crevice after killing dozens of bat people:
Another Theft, confessed:
Okay, finally interviewed Erush about why he beat up those bards? Wait what? He confessed to crimes?
He was using a fake name?
So be it.
Hopefully they make it to winter.
Limestone
Summer is over
Listen here you little shit. No breaking kilns and assaulting people.
Praise the Traders:
The Baron Consort has arrived:
Just buy everything they have and sell them some of our bone crafts. Our.. shockingly large amounts of bone crafts.
Our.. huge amounts of.. Masterpiece.. Bone.. crafts…
Sandstone
… At least the caverns are sealed off. Most of our military is missing in action from missions in 105. Rescue missions abort during the trek there.
Okay. Create a new squad accepting signups. Set the signup sheet to say.. ‘Fighting Training Club’ and get everyone who has been complaining about lack of training into it.
Timber
Okay, I’m seeing an uptick in complaints about lack of temples for some esoteric gods.. Approved.
Okay.. maybe.. We stop giving the children chores to do? Maybe that will stop some of the angry ones… Okay new policy. Only happy children get chores.
Another volunteer to clear out bat people from the caverns.. And it’s dead and only provided training for them. Oh well.
No more fishing this year I guess.
Okay. The military have been training for a while and crave excitement and violence.. Time to take down the Titan.
Send the military in.
Well done. No injuries or losses as far as I can see!
And it starts to snow
Moonstone
Get those lazy dwarves outside and building the outside wall of the fortress. No More Snow!!
Out of Limestone blocks? Then Mine some more and get blocking!
Opal
Yes, more layers, all sandstone. Much sandstone. Why is that side red? Bauxite?! NO ONLY LIMESTONE!
Yesss.
Obsidian
MINE MORE LIMESTONE, MORE LAYERS. WHHARGABARG…
NO INTERRUPTIONS!!
CONVICTED, BEAT THEM AND GET BACK TO WORK.
EAT? I DON’T HAV.. wow these are delicious.
Ahem. Food break everyone.
The union leader wants to speak to me? Do we have unions? Oh the craftdwarf guild. I build them that guildhall I remember. Everything okay with it? Tell them to wait, just finishing up a few things.
This chef is -amazing-
Very pleased.
We have tons of booze and amazing food. This winter is going to be a good one I feel. With our well and other amenities everyone is in high spirits. I remember when I arrived, so many angry people wanted attention. I get a lot of time to myself now.
Wait
Wait..
The Entrance is OFF CENTER?? ARGH WHARGABLE *froths*
*thunk*
